Day Ninety

Festis and Furrgus 

Well, let me tell you that was a second Christmas to remember.

Even Tara’s Taylor could be here this year.

And when everybody sat to the table there was more smoked salmon than we could imagine.

And yet me tell you we Blackthorn-Badgers know salmon. 

And the champagne flowed without restraint. 

Which is as it should be. 

And everybody talked at once and not one person noticed. 

Reminded me of the Guards mess after the fourth bottle had been emptied. 

Then everyone retired to the living room for the present distribution. And dessert. 

All the Mahoneys got socks. 

Lots of other things but especially the extremely comfortable socks from Niamh’s store.

Zita got some ever so old vinegar. 

From the wonderful olive oil and vinegar store near Eddy’s café.

Emmet got a beautiful sweater. 

Because the Mahoneys know that Emmet’s apartment does not have even one fireplace. 

And Niamh got some brand new records for her stereo system. 

She was extremely excited. 

We have a stereo in the second basement of the castle. 

With gigantic speakers made by Mister Walker, who was a friend on the old Laird.

It comes in useful for celeighs mind you. 

The party lasted until the very wee hours so our whole patrol routine was thrown into confusion.

We did not exit the house until nearly dawn. 

So we joined the entire family in a Hogmanay sleep in. 

The weather continued to be unseasonal, as it was noticeably warmer here than the castle. 

But it remains wet and very uncomfortably slushy. 

So uncomfortable that it requires a hot toddy, or two, to recover each times we return home. 

We called cousin’s Morag’s hotel, The Witchery, to wish her a very happy Hogmanay.

And express our deep gratitude for being the Chatelaine of Tioram. 

We had to do this early, before the festivities got well underway, as Morag cuts a mean rug don’t you know. 

Mrs. T braved the fog and drove young Emmet to a New Years dinner with his old university friends.

But she came home to some very sad new from our Niamh.

Madame, her very very favourite ballet teacher died last night. 

Niamh had alway meant to call her to express her gratitude for all the support Madam had given her while Niamh was at school. 

And now she feels guilty. As we all do in such uncertain situations.

When our RSM died at Gallipoli and I was detached in France, it took me a week to write his dear wife a letter. 

One of the hardest things I had ever done. Unfortunately it was good training. 

So, as a needed distraction Zita and Niamh went out shopping for Miss Pancake’s welcome to her new home collar.

That was a good idea. Better than expensive Scotch let me assure you. 

While shopping may harm your pocketbook, it does ignore your liver. 

While Mrs. T and young Niamh were out and Craig was watching American universities play football we tidied up. 

Mrs. T left us some dangerously delicious home made shortbreads to sustain our efforts. 

The refrigerator is bulging with food. 

It looks like our favourite dreams of weeks of thick ham sandwiches may come to pass. 

And there is enough chocolate to stretch belts. Oh my goodness me. 

Our Niamh and Miss Tarryn came here to decide whether to go to a New Year’s party, or not. 

So Mr. and Mrs T were left a bit on their own, well with all of us of course, to see in the New Year.

They watched a mystery they cannot talk about. 

Because Emmet wants to watch it with Alice back in Ireland. 

And does not want to spoil it. 

We did remind them of the importance of the First Footer mind you. 

Day Eighty Nine

Festis. 

Well it is unseasonably warm again.

So with everything melting the early morning patrol was delayed as we donned our various waterproof garments.

There are puddles everywhere so our route had to be a bit circulated let me tell you.

Last night we discovered that the newest addition to our family is named Pancake.

It seems as if Craig is not sure that she wants to keep it or have a new one. 

So we will have to await her arrival. 

I must say we never appreciated the preliminary work that a new puppy requires.

Appointments with the veterinary for the appropriate vaccinations. 

And that is when Zita found out the very disturbing news that Miss Poppy’s very favourite veterinarian, Doctor Weller had gone into semi-retirement. 

Well that was an unfortunate surprise let me tell you.

So we have to find a new one for little Miss Pancake. 

And we need new accessories, a fashionable collar, a comfortable bed, and a warm coat. All in a small size. My goodness. 

Niamh saved Miss Poppy’s collar and framed it for a lovely memorial. 

So Zita was busy making all these connections. 

And simultaneously getting ready for tonight’s extravaganza. 

When we went out for the afternoon’s run around it was nearly balmy.

What strange weather I must say. 

It was warmer here than in Dublin. And much much warmer than in Glenfinnan. 

But that is just the right weather for the oncoming of Hogmanay. 

We have noted that the Mahoney presents were very well arranged around the tree. 

Craig spent much of the afternoon in the den listening to one of his favourite singers who had died yesterday. 

A fitting thing to do in our opinion. 

Besides writing beautiful songs he had his very own ranch with horses.

While Craig listened, Zita spent her time in the kitchen getting everything ready for tonight’s feast. 

But Dugal says we cannot not accept any alcoholic beverages until the party is over, just in case someone needs sober help.

Fortunately the request does not cover cheese or chips. 

Since tomorrow is Hogmanay we have to marshal our physical resilience to be competent participants. Can’t let the side down. 

Then Miss Tara and Taylor appeared and the evening officially started.

Day Eighty Eight

Festis 

Well the sun was out and the snow was starting to melt when we ventured forth this morning.

So everything was as messy as could be. 

We had to don our waterproofs and tread rather carefully, because of the ice covered puddles.

When we returned Zita, Emmet and Niamh were well awake and finished breakfast.

So Zita drove Niamh to The Three Trees. As she is back to work today. 

Emmet is still toiling in the mines of academia, as this chapter needs to be completed by the end of January. 

Last night, when all but us were fast asleep I asked Dugal why Miss Poppy had a real estate agent in heaven. 

Which seemed a bit strange to us.

Uncle Dugal patiently explained that heaven is always just as each one expects it to be. 

And in this case Mr. Matti, drawing on all his real estate experience as Mister Garry best minder dog, is helping Poppy find exactly the right castle. 

The castle she completely expects to find after listening to Craig read all his medieval books to her. 

Especially the ones where the knight had a fierce dog who was always at their side. 

Well it seemed all so very logical after Dugal explained it. The benefits of him being around for a very long time. 

Now things are slowly returning to what passes as normal around here.

The Second Christmas presents have been put around the tree. Awaiting the arrival of the Mahoneys tomorrow evening. 

And Zita placed some hooks on the dining room wall for the brand new world map. 

Unfortunately not so much of it is red anymore. 

Probably just as well, all things considered said Dugal. 

And the ancient map of Dublin that Alice gave to the family is all beautifully framed and will soon be on the wall. 

Now which wall is still open for some debate. 

The map was made from a a very old copper printing plate that Alice’s family found up inside the chimney of a fireplace.

And so they printed the map by themselves. My goodness me. 

Now we are desperate to know the story behind why the plate was hidden in the fireplace.

But I suspect that is is well lost in time. Such is the nature of time. 

But just before we left on our intended afternoon ramble we received some fabulous news.

Apparently all of Miss Poppy’s hard work has been rewarded. 

There is a lovely little new lady Bouvier who needs a family to mind.

Just now she is living near the far mountains, on a farm that raises rare horses. 

And her mother is one of the horse minders. 

Because they have wolves out there. My goodness me. 

But she is going to catch a ride in a truck bringing horses to this side of the country. 

And Zita and Niamh will get her and bring her home to her new family. 

Now that was very welcome news.

So all three of us went to Eddy’s dinner for lunch to celebrate. What a day, what a day. 

And since it was a vacuum the house day our exit was well timed.

It was so warm outside we did not even have to have our down waistcoats on.

Emmet came come empty handed, looking for old books is proving more difficult than expected.

At first we were a bit worried, given Emmet’s impressive interest in headhunting, but fortunately it will be a present for a friend. 

When Zita got home from her errands she drove Emmet to Mike and Morgan’s house for dinner and a bit of D&D.

Then right away she went to pick up Niamh at her work so she could go over to Tara’s and have dinner there. 

After dinner Craig and Zita went into the den to watch their detective program. 

We got out the Mahjong tiles and looked at pictures of the little dog. 

I do hope she does not snore so much. 

Day Eighty Seven

Furrgus 

Well were we surprised when we opened the living room curtains.

The forecast “possibilities of flurries” turned into 15 centimetres of snow. My goodness.

So it was definitively snowshoe weather. We strapped ourselves into them and ventured forth. 

There were blessedly no cars on the roads as it was on the roads we travelled. 

The sidewalks were not fit for man nor beast. That includes Badgers. 

When we got home it was just in time to commiserate with Mrs. T.

She too was taken aback at the enormous amount of snow.

Then our Emmet appeared having a before breakfast dentist appointment up in Lansdowne.

And borrowing our snowshoes ventured forth. 

We helped Mrs. T with breakfast and looked out the window as cars failed to make it up the Holmwood hill. 

Amusing as that was the side yard and the escape pathway had to be cleared. 

So we all shouldered our shovels and attacked the snow. 

We popped in every so often, to fill up our flasks and eventually we found both Mr. T and our Niamh awake.

Young Emmet had returned earlier and went downstairs to resume sleeping. 

So when Mrs. T came in coffee was passed around and we resumed watch the hill climb circus unfolding on the corner. 

Now it was not so very cold, which was fortunate. 

To our concern it was again colder in Glenfinnan. 

We most certainly hope the coal supplies are sufficient.

We tried to call Cousin Morag but the signal at the castle is very problematical. 

So we called the pub. Murdoch was there naturally. 

He said that Morag had gone to her house in Edinburgh for Hogmanay. 

We should have guessed. 

Because of the time difference we shall call Morag about dinner time here, before she is too busy celebrating..

Mrs. T and young Niamh spent much of the afternoon assigning the Mahoney’s Christmas presents. 

A complicated diplomatic task let me tell you.

And then that finished there was the task of wrapping them. 

After being sure we could of little help in either task we had our nap. 

When we got up Mrs. T and Professor Jill had gone on a walk in the rather soggy weather.

Emmet came up occasionally to refill the tea mug, which is required while writing a book chapter.

When Mrs. T got home she got the snow shovel out so she could clear out the side yard as the snow is turning to rain. 

And if that freezes tonight, well, it would be unfortunate. 

Before dinnertime Miss Sach and Miss Tarryn came to help Miss Niamh clean her room. 

Apparently it takes three of them. Oh my goodness. 

So they stayed for a delicious pastas dinner. 

Then they returned to their cleaning duties. 

From over hearing kitchen conversation it appears that the next Bouvier program is proceeding unabated. 

Well that is exciting I must say. 

We have refrained from taking any part in this, due to our major conflict of interest. 

Dugal has read us the riot act let me tell you. 

Perhaps we can check in with Miss Poppy tonight.

If she is not too busy with Mister Matti, her real estate agent finding the appropriate castle for the family.

Apparently many do not have the requisite number of secret rooms or passages. 

Or adequate insulation or running water. 

Some do not even have moats and drawbridges. 

Our Castle Tirom does not have a moat, being on an island for most of the day. 

But it does have more than enough secrets.

I mean we agree that it does looks like a deserted ramshackle affair from afar. 

Especially with the west tower being roofless. 

But the renovated second through fifth basements are virtually invisible, being only accessible through the giant rotary fireplace. 

And the second ballroom can only be found if you are a bit tipsy. Or so they say.

After dinner Mr. and Mrs. T and young Emmet sat at the table and ate Christmas shortbreads, while resolving the future. 

We try that but after a few glasses of scotch the future seems a pale reflection of the past. Ahh well. 

Perhaps we should get better scotch. 

Day Eighty Six

Festis 

We had another uneventful patrol this morning. Which was fine with us.

There is a certain elegance in the boringly usual I have discovered over the years. 

When we got home everyone was awake. Well except for Craig naturally.

Even Miss Tarryn was here, as she had had a sleepover.

So everyone had a relaxing morning, taking advantage of the trove of Christmas treats. 

But for Emmet who was writing a chapter for that very very expensive book. 

Then Niamh drove Tarryn to her home. 

But she got stuck in our driveway. Oh my.

Even with snow tires. 

So Zita, Niamh, Tarryn and Alex from across the street got the big snow shovels and dug the car out.

Zita drove it away while everybody cleaned the driveway so it would not happen again. 

They had successfully excavated the car before we had got our boots on.

So we just went on our afternoon walk around the neighbourhood.

It is slightly warmer today but the snow is sticky and it turns walking into trudging. 

Good thing we Blackthorn-Badgers are unusually fit. And well supplied with rum toddies. 

We suspect that Zita and Niamh have been in communication with our Miss Poppy.

As they have been on the computer all afternoon looking for just the perfect Bouvier addition to the family. 

Oh my goodness that is exciting. 

Lord knows Furrgus and I are quite overwhelmed with the ongoing responsibilities. 

And are looking forward to a far more sedentary life, let me tell you. 

As the time away from serving Her Majesty increases, lounging in the local cafés has had an increasing appeal to us. 

Especially if they have patisseries available. 

But later this afternoon, when we returned from patrol, the undeniable smell of cooking ham wafted through the house.

Now that is a proper welcome home.

We now understand that second Christmas with all the Mahoneys will now occur on Friday. 

But the ham could not wait.

So Zita got her famous ham recipe out and the ham was popped into the oven. Much to our delight.

While the ham progressed we had our secondary nap.

When we awoke the ham was sitting on top of the oven relaxing. 

We had had hopes that we would do some quality control testing tonight. 

But Zita said the carving of the ham is a decades old ritual which cannot be set aside.

And that all would have to wait until Friday. 

But fortunately we were invited to share a scrumptious stuffed veal dinner with the whole family.

And we received an invitation to Friday’s dinner also. Ahhh. Christmas time.

Then Niamh went downstairs to start cleaning her bedroom. A daunting task at the best of times. 

And Emmet took advantage of being home to luxuriate at some length, in an Emmet sized bathtub. 

Craig and Zita went to the den to watch their mystery program, leaving us to decipher the Sunday Times crossword. 

 

Day Eighty Five

Furrgus 

On returning from the early morning patrol we have found out the tonight’s second Christmas has been postponed.

Mister Aidan’s lady friend has fallen ill. 

And Mrs. Kathy decided that to keep everyone as fit as a fiddle that discretion must prevail.

Which all in all is the correct decision.

Mister Craig was ever so sick after his last vaccination we also thought it best not to tempt fate.

So if everyone is still healthy in a couple of day we will restart Christmas 2.0. Ha.

Speaking of Craig I noticed he had a sleep in today. And why not we say. 

And at lunchtime Our Emmet was exercising his baking skills producing several dozen fabulous molasses cookies. 

Before Mrs. T went for her constitutional with Professor Jill, she saw our cardinal, sheltering in our side yard. 

Thankfully the weather is only slightly nasty today. 

Now Doctor Alice, having the day off, was at home sharing tea with the family cat. 

Not being needed at the hospital today there was time for a nice long distance conversation with Emmet.

Boxing Day is always just the right day to relax and most importantly digest the excesses of food and visitors.

So that is exactly what we did.

Well after we checked in with Cousin Morag that is. 

According to Morag the castle’s Christmas dinner was a notable success, in spite of their increasing inclement weather.

It was colder there than here, which was a bit of a shock.

And Dugal’s reluctant home at Dhùn Stadhainis was put under siege by snow drifts he reported. With some glee.

He blames his stepfather father for being too mean to buy a snowplough for the estate and expressed little sympathy. 

We wisely refrained from commenting. 

As his stepfather the Earl, is a Campbell and Dugal a Maclean, on his father’s side, the situation is unlikely to improve in our opinion. 

Well we just settled in for a relaxing day, feeling slightly guilty that the postponement of the festivities did not bother us too much. 

There was a plentitude of tea, biscuits, croissants and fresh cookies to soften the blow. 

We collectively decided not to cook the ham as we are awaiting a decision on the postponement of Boxing Day.

So Mrs. T and young Niamh went to some grocery stores to to get something appetizing for tonight’s truncated feast. 

We will rely on Emmet’s cookies to see us through.  

The change in menu was not in the least disappointing.

As Mrs. T substituted a delicious veal concoction for the postponed ham. 

When we did our before dinner patrol we heard that there were fire engines up on Bank Street. 

Being concerned about our favourite restaurants we extended our patrol to see for ourselves. 

But very sadly it was our favourite shop for beautiful cards, The Papery, which was on fire. 

We then returned to our regular route, as not to get in the way of the firefighters. 

We quite worn out when we got home but we were called into service to oversee the stuffing creating.

After that we had our nap and did not wake until dessert was being served. 

Then after dinner, when all had retired to their respective preferences, fortunately we found our Monopoly game under the sofa.

Day Eighty Four - Part Two

Furrgus

With our commitment to Miss Poppy completed it was time to talk to Miss Andrea and Ross and Joan.

To thank them for the wonderful presents. 

And Niamh made champagne and orange juice cocktails for herself and Zita. 

We simply settled for the champagne. 

We do not need the vitamin C. 

And it was soon followed by talking to most of Zita’s family in Dublin.

Then Emmet went downstairs to talk with Alice, who was waiting for her family dinner to be cooked. 

Fortunately she did not have to be at her hospital today. 

Alice got Emmet a special notebook, all in leather with Emmet’s very own name on it. 

And it was all made by a friend of Alice’s family too. 

Now naturally Niamh was very understanding about her fabulous rain coat not arriving in time. 

One cannot control the weather. 

She was far more understanding than Dugal about the lack of his Harrod’s hamper let me tell you. 

As Zita put down the telephone Sandra appeared at the door with a gift of a local confectionery delight. 

But she could not stay as she had other deliveries to make. 

For which we were quite relieved, as the living room floor was knee deep in wrapping paper and presents.

So the remains of the wrappings were bundled into bags and an attempt was made to make the place decent. 

Now Craig, in addition to clothes and books, got Christmas treats, a giant box of oatmeal cookies from the way to much store, 

Miss Tarryn got him the biggest box of croissants you could ever find, because she regularly eats his croissants when he is not looking.

There was peanut brittle from Zita and, can you believe this, a box of Campbells Shortbreads. 

Campbells of all people. 

Our father The Laird will be rolling around in his grave at the thought. Campbells. 

Now Dugal said he once had a Major Campbell in the 42nd who never stole anything he shouldn’t have. 

Be that as it may, delicious or not, Festis and I will politely refuse any if offered. 

One has to have some semblance of standards. 

We got an especially fine strawberry jam from Zita. And it was made in Italy. My goodness.

And Craig said he would share his plethora of croissants with us. Thank goodness.

And there was a tidy tin of chocolates from Belgium. My goodness. That was a treat. 

Tonight’s dinner is going to be an amalgam of the remaining food from last night excess. 

So as our help was not required in the kitchen all three of us went on patrol.

It was a cold and windy afternoon let me tell you. 

But there were still some fools running around - with no one chasing them.

They were running just for exercise with their Christmas dinners about to be served in a hour or so. 

Makes no sense to us. 

So we ignored them, aside from a polite Merry Christmas salutation or two.

The snow is still really too deep for comfortable travel but apparently just right for tobogganing.

The hill into our pond was full of careening sleds vying for broken legs. 

We fled into the safety and warmth of our house. 

It was time for our before dinner naps. 

So the whole family reassembled for the Christmas dinner. 

. 

Day Eighty Four - Part One

Dugal

Well there was no early bedtimes for us last night.

We always go to bed early Christmas Eve lest we disturb Saint Nicholas on his appointed rounds.

But the soirée went well past our usual bedtime.

So we had no polite choice but to mingle.

Especially since the Pavlova and Baklava did not appear until nearly ten o’clock. 

So we managed to stay both awake and engaging. Which is an under appreciated skill if you ask me.

Then after the multitude left, the presents needed to be placed around the Christmas tree.

Until the floor all but disappeared.

And then Craig had to read The Night Before Christmas to Emmet and Niamh, as he has since the beginning of the family.

While we helped tidy the kitchen Emmet watched out the windows for any sight of the sleigh. 

Then it was off to sugar plums land for all of us. 

The morning came sooner than expected, considering.

But soon Craig joined the rest of the family for the grand opening of the presents.

And Zita brought in croissants and beverages for all.

It is extremely unwise to open presents on an empty stomach you know. 

In a surprising modification to tradition, this year Niamh was in charge of the handing out of the presents. 

Craig relinquished his role with some relief.

Even I, a long time veteran of family Christmases, felt that this year’s collection of presents was quite astonishingly brilliant.

Niamh found a staggeringly expensive scarf in a thrift shop for less than 5£. 

It was in silk and cashmere by Mister Vuitton. Now that was a find.

Niamh even took it to a very expensive store to make sure it was real. And it was. 

Emmet found Niamh the cosiest jacket ever made. From Cork. 

And it was in plaid. Now that is a great Christmas present, let me tell you.

It took up nearly all his backpack on his way home. 

Zita found Emmet a beautiful three quarter length coat of felted cotton. 

It had been made in Italy twenty years ago. 

Emmet looked as if they were on their way to a Covent Gardens concert. 

Or a duel. 

Craig got some brand new books and brand new T-shirts and a comfy warm fuzzy shirt. 

And it was in the Black Watch plaid. 

I was ecstatic. It was my old regiment as you must remember. 

And he got gloves. A pair of electric gloves from Emmet. Plug in gloves. What will they think of next. 

And some find you in a snowbank gloves from Zita. 

9

Emmet found Zita the exact replacement for a mixing bowl he broke twenty years ago. Well done Emmet.

Then it became our turn in the event, as it was then the presents from Miss Poppy were distributed.

In accordance with our duties as executors of her last will and testament we followed instructions to the letter and got her listed presents. 

Zita got a sturdy digging trowel to help her in the garden, since Poppy will no longer be her loyal hole digging associate. 

Niamh got her very own Highland Cow to mind, as you need a cow to mind if you are an honourary Bouvier . 

Emmet got a not so very dangerous Druid,

Poppy wanted us to make sure it was not one of the perhaps dangerous Druids. 

And finally, Craig got someone older than himself to talk to now that his Miss Poppy is not always available to listen.

We were so very very happy to have competently succeeded in our task. 

It had weighed heavily on all three of us, let me tell you. 

.